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Wednesday, May 4, 2016


Hello everyone, sorry I've been MIA for a while. School and finals have been kicking my butt recently, however, I didn't want to keep y'all waiting for a blog post any longer.

I have been contemplating writing this for a while now, but as time goes on, I figured why the hell not. And sorry for how long this post is.
. . .
As my junior year comes to a close, I felt it was best to appreciate the time I've spent so far in college and how much I have grown into the person I am today.

Freshmen year seemed like forever ago. Little ole me was a wide eyed eighteen year old looking for the best college experience. And what better way to get that experience than joining a sorority.
Recruitment was right around the corner and I had my eye on one sorority in particular. I wore my best dresses, put on my prettiest smile, and prayed to God that they liked me.

I bet you could imagine my face when I actually got a bid from them.

I was queen of the world.
I joined the best group of girls anyone could ask for. They welcomed me in with open arms and I can honestly say I loved every single one of them.

I was recruited into the most bad-ass, idgaf family in the entire chapter and, although people say that that was my downfall, that so-called "rebel family" got me through my hardest times.

They were the ones who spent countless hours listening to me vent and always knew how to cheer me up. They were the best group of friends someone could have around during their first year away from home.
While my love for these girls grew, so did my love for the sorority as a whole.

It wasn't long until I volunteered for (almost) every event and dreamed of moving up in the sorority from exec positions to possible national positions. I wanted the best for the sorority in every aspect that came with it.

Unfortunately, I soon began to see the hierarchy within the chapter. Depending on what family you were in determined how your experience was going to go.

My family was the one that always seemed to get sent to judicial board (j-board) for the slightest offensives, but other families would do the same thing, if not worse, but wouldn't get in trouble at all. Those families also got all the top positions in the chapter, so I'm sure you could get the gist of the hierarchy mentioned before.
What I did to get kicked out (there I said, I was kicked out of the thing my life revolved around) was definitely an offense but shouldn't have resulted into something so serious.

Let me back track here.

The first time I was sent to j-board was after I posted this picture.
I got sent a text message stating I needed to take it down because it was inappropriate. She also included "If you have any questions as to why you need to take it down, please let me know."

So I did what anybody else would and asked "I will take it down, but just out of curiosity, why is this picture inappropriate?" I then got multiple text messages accusing me of being drunk (which I wasn't) and saying how I needed to stop arguing with her.

After that whole incident blew over and my first year of college ended, I was just ready to participate in my first fall recruitment and hopefully find my perfect littles so my family of one (yup, you heard right. At that time, I was the only active one left in the family) could expand.

Right after recruitment, it has always been a tradition for my family to throw a party with the raddest fraternity on campus. So I figured, why not continue the tradition.
I planned the party with the help from multiple sisters, invited new and old girls, and prepared for a night full of fun.

The next two months seemed as if nothing happened until AFTER I had planned two mixers, got my set of twins (obsession is an understatement), and helped choreograph Islander Revue, which is a night where organizations compete with skits.
I was then j-boarded for the party. Long story short, I was kicked out because of it, even though past punishments for the same offense we're "can't attend date party" or something small like that.

I appealed my membership expulsion but even nationals said I am no longer a member. So here I am, just an ordinary college girl, who's telling her story to a world of people who don't really know her.

Confession #1: I don't regret joining that sorority.
Confession #2: I don't resent those who didn't like me or my family.

Confession #3: I do, however, resent the favoritism, unfairness, and hierarchy within the chapter.

Confession #4: I had an amazing time while I was a member.

Confession #5: I've realized that there is nothing wrong with being independent.

Confession #6: I will never regret the party I threw. #IAmLegend
Confession #7: I'm still a sister, no matter how much you deny it.

Confession #8: I still get the sorority's shirts (for free).

Confession #9: I won't give back my membership card or pin.

Confession #10: Being a sweetheart for that same fraternity is way cooler.
Confession #11: I will always support this chapter and sorority.

Confession #12: Contrary to popular belief, I still get invited to parties.

Confession #13: My friendships have changed since, not positively OR negatively.

Confession #14: I'm happy I don't have the girls who didn't like me put on fake smiles to say hi to me on campus anymore. Just keep avoiding me, ladies.

Confession #15: Missing it doesn't mean I wish I was still a part of it.
So I just wanted to say, thank you to the girls that tried their hardest to get me in trouble. Without you, I wouldn't have been able to truly find myself and realize I don't need something in my life that tore me down no matter how much I loved it.

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